A little about me

Whew - I was reminded why I haven't done a blog as this post put me into anxiety attacks and depression the last few days. Yep, I was pretty close to deleting the whole thing and giving up already. Pretty bad huh?

Why was it so crazy? Why am I deleting every other sentence I write and rewriting a bunch? Communication. I have a whole ranting and raving post to do one of these days about communication and how these days we have many amazing ways to communicate, we've gained a ton of ground with new technologies and such, but we've equally lost the ability to communicate. If you don't believe me just look at facebook updates, twitter, text, etc. etc. It's not just grammar and spelling, the ability to convey what you truly mean has been (I feel) lost to many and thus you never know what people will understand/interpret from what you write. If I have a person physically next to me I can open up and talk for hours (or longer, especially if they are an adult and the kids are occupied or not present) and sometimes the same can happen over the phone. But, if you get me in a group of people or on facebook, I'm always nervous that I won't be able to express myself in a way that will be understood.

I'm terrified at something I write coming across as something other than what I originally meant. For example, I was going to say how I'm a stay at home mom - but the image that phrase conjures up is a labeled narrow box that I don't feel I fit into entirely. Honestly I feel like I'm quite the paradox that doesn't really fit in anywhere so language fails me when it comes to describing myself. And of course there's the whole issue with how I see myself which changes based on the day.

What to do then?
One of my options was to just not do this post at all - go back to the other post and delete the whole idea of me introducing myself.

Another was to write out a super long drawn out and sometimes depressing explanation of my crazy self or wait for a day where I felt good about myself - both options loosing lots of time I could be doing the fun type of post I wanted to do when I started this whole thing.

Realize that no matter how hard I tried to pontificate in a sophisticated yet simple way that would be understood by all, it just isn't possible and I should not worry so much and just write a simple little thing and get on to other things that don't make me as anxious. Plus you'll all get to know the craziness of who I really am as I do all those other posts.

This last one seems the best.


So who am I?

My name is Tabitha - yes it's after the Tabitha in the Bible Acts 9. But also really from Bewitched. There have been many times I've gotten called Samantha and I blame it on the TV show.

Nicknames - my family nickname is Taffy. In elementary I had a teacher ask if there was a nickname we went by when we called role. I said my nickname was Taffy and the whole class laughed at me so I kept it a secret from then on. Starting in High School a lot of friends called me Tabby. I even had one friend call me Tab and he brought the Soda Tab to a party I had. Tabby has stuck and there's even times when people introduce me to others as Tabby. I do love my name Tabitha though and would prefer people to use that unless they are friends - it's always strange to have someone call me Tabby when I've never met them before.

I am married to an amazing man that I'll have to devote a few posts to in the future. One of the distinguishing characteristics of my husband upon first impressions is his lovely golden locks which are longer than my own. We recently celebrated our 8th anniversary and I still think he's the best husband in the world!

We have two kids who just had birthdays so our daughter Krissy is now 6 and our son Eli is 4. You'll get to know them really really well with my posts I'm sure ;)

True Family Photo - Halloween 2011, yes that's my husband as the Pope (he drove the city bus dressed as that) and yes that's Eli as Superman with a sword in his pants - since he didn't have a scabbard

Things I like (well a small list of them) - and you're sure to get lots of posts about:

• Parties - even though I'm a rather introverted person I love to put together theme parties and I've done some pretty amazing ones if I say so myself and I can't wait to share about them
• Sewing - I like to sew clothes and costumes and fun stuff
• Geeky things - Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Steampunk, Terry Pratchet, Princess Bride and more!
• Jane Austen novels and movies, Fantasy books and movies, kid movies (what I see the most of these days)
• Makeup and costumes - that's what I got my Bachelors degree in, I may not ever be on the stage but I enjoy the behind the scene stuff
• History - I like lots of historical stuff from antique objects to retro hair to medieval reenactment. My whole family is in the SCA Society of Creative Anachronism and I love to sew our medieval clothing and go on the camping trips and to the events. 
• Going along with both makeup and history I love retro hair and makeup and dabble in doing it once in awhile on myself
• Halloween - my favorite holliday
• Native American stuff- my grandpa's grandma Minnie Hicks is supposedly Cherokee and there's supposedly other ancestors that are full blooded native americans but I haven't been able to verify any of that. Be that as it may I love the culture, the clothing, the music, the artwork
• I love visual arts, that's what I wanted to go into when I went to college and growing up when the elementary school teachers asked what everyone wanted to be and all the other girls said moms, I said Disney animator. While that never panned out I do love art still and some of the things I will share are my dabblings of stuff done with projects - some of them have turned out great even though I don't have photoshop or anything fancy like that, just paint and microsoft publisher.
• I have a bit of a crazy wild side, if it was allowed to come out more I would probably have a rainbow 2 foot mohaw (see, that is not what you picture when you hear stay-at-home-mom) ;)

Things I don't like that I hope to not take up too much time with posts but you never know:

• My memory - I have a terrible, horrible, no good memory. There have been times where my husband has said something and when I asked him who told him that he replies "you did." And there are more times when he swears he has told me something and I don't remember it at all. I get people's names wrong all the time and I have been known to have long conversations with someone who I have no idea how they know me and then realizing half an hour after they are gone that they were my college roommate. 
• My journal/scrapbooking skills - which are nill at the most and don't help with the memory problem but hey, maybe this blog will help?!
• Drama - not to be mistaken for the theater or film, I mean drama that goes along with politics, debate, the news - I'm a sensitive soul and I hate confrontation.

 

We'll see how I do with the desire to be open and honest on this blog but also the fear of confrontation and not being understood. Hopefully though this will be the hardest post I'll do and we can now move on to some fun stuff.

me being my crazy self at a girls night out back in 2009